I've high-fived this man

 

I swear I've lost half of my brain
I have to think for about five minutes before i manage to spell words like "hinder", I'm reading catch-22 but have no idea what's going on, and i don't understand Krazy Kat AT ALL.
I'm not doing anything differently
maybe i've been poisoned.

 

 A WOMAN accused of performing a sexual act on a man when he crashed in Darwin's rural area is outraged at the allegation and says it is "absolutely wrong".

Allyson White said the standout burn mark left by her seatbelt across her chest was proof the claims of "amorous activities'' with the driver were not true.

"I was not sucking his d*** - and it's pretty obvious that wasn't the case ... you only have to look at the mark on my chest,'' she said.

"Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it's impossible that I'd be leaning over sucking his d*** unless he is hung like a donkey or I've got a f****** rubber neck.

"If it was true I'd just cop it sweet and think 'how embarassing, I got caught sucking someone's d***' - but it is not true and that's what is p****** me off.

"It didn't happen like that at all - he was just going too fast.''

Police told in Thursday's Northern Territory News how they believe a driver crashed his car while involved in "amorous activities'' with his female passenger.

They said the 33-year-old man was distracted by the woman and veered off the road, smashing his single cab Hilux ute into a concrete drain on Pioneer Rd in Humpty Doo.

But Ms White said it was a lie and she wanted to set the record straight.

Even the unnamed driver's statement to police had no hints of any fellatio taking place.

"I don't understand where that story has come from,'' she said.

"It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he'd already paid me.

"But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job.''

Ms White, 34, said she had been at the Howard Springs Tavern celebrating a friend's birthday when they decided to go back to a friend's place in Humpty Doo.

She said they stopped into the Humpty Doo Tavern where she usually works to invite other friends, including the unnamed driver, along to the bash.

He did not know how to get to the house so she jumped in his car to give him directions.

"We are just friends and it's pissing me off as people think I have done this behind my boyfriend's back - it makes me feel like a dirty bitch when I've done nothing wrong.''

"Fair enough he shouldn't have been driving but I didn't realise he was drunk and would never have got in the car if I did.''

Ms White was taken by St John Ambulance to Royal Darwin Hospital with chest injuries following the crash.

The driver was charged with drink driving after allegedly blowing .147 per cent, as well as driving without due care and driving without a licence.
 

 "A newborn baby delivered in a train lavatory has survived falling through the bottom of the carriage and on to the tracks below"

WHY IS THE WORLD SO FUCKING STUPID NOW?!

 "A man who thought there was an intruder in his house shot and killed his fiancee the day before they were to be married, police in the US said.

 This time with a single-panel thing going. 
Still luzzin' the laugh-out-loud cats, and used to the lolcat dialogue and meme-references (though i'd still prefer without)
In love with Kitteh

 http://www.last.fm/music/Tom+Zé

http://www.last.fm/music/Chico+Buarque

 "if this isn't nice I don't know what is" - found BLOG from LOLCATS found LOLCATS from searching KATSINA DOLLS to show my mum because on EBAY i found some iron-on-patches of katsina dolls and thought it was bizarre. Originally knew about Katsina dolls from art project on tribal sculpture. Got a C. IT WAS FUCKING GOOD! I just didn't write enough because i can't bring myself to write arty bullshit, (which is all they want to read). I deserved an A for that damn thing. The problem is, art is all subjective. A lot of the time if your art teacher doesn't like your style they'll give it a mark based on opinion, because there's no right or wrong answer like in maths. And I don't mean to come across as arrogant, but I'm a damn good painter. I should have taken Maths or something. I wish I'd taken History, Politics and English lang&lit. Why take lang when you are better at lit and want to write literature? Odd girl

So the blog I mean is: http://www.vonnegutweb.com/archives/arc_nice.html - Kurt Vonnegut's.
And the LOLCATS is The "Laugh-Out-Loud Cats" which is a comic about two 1930s hobo cats, and the art is beautiful, but they talk like lolcats, which is disappointing. I think the whole idea is that 'this is what the lolcats were like back in the day'... pretending it's an old thing when really it's an obvious product of new technology and linguistic change! Check me out.

So here's some journal:

TODAY

~I biked to college again on my pink hibiscus-covered bike, I'm getting fitter by the dayyy! I got home in 15 mins today, first time took me 40 mins.
On my way home (been comin home naughtily early past 2 weeks + get big feeling of freedom on escape) it's always sunny on the straw field, however cold it is. 
+ sometimes there are crows conversing together on the field or flying between the trees over the motorway on the other side of the field. On my left is ++++++ wood so I'm under trees. & I usually listen to an album I bought by accident in Jumbo Records called "Blind Blake & The Royal Victoria Hotel Calypsos - Bahamian Songs" & it's 1930s Bahamas songs like "Watermelon Spoilin' On The Vine" + "Lord Got Tomatoes"
I LOVE IT

it was niceeeeee

NEXT DAY

Today I helped cook the fish + I washed up at dad's + walked back to mum's (but she's not home). It gets so dark so early now. 
A stupid bitch honked at me after waiting for me to pass her car..
I'm home now + found a website, it's of the organisation "TED" where they present "ideas worth spreading". It's really good. I watched a speech by William Kamkwamba, who read a book called "Using Energy", + from that he taught himself how to build windmills that would power things in his house (when he was 14!).
He had to drop out of school because of the famine - he doesn't explain why in the speech, but after reading around I realised that education isn't free in Malawi, so he had to stop paying for school to eat and going in order to work.
Education should be free everywhere.
IT INCREASES A PERSON'S QUALITY OF LIFE. 
No education
=
No decent job
=
No money
=
Low quality of life.

- This means it's bad for the country as a whole!
It seems that the only thing preventing it is greed.

 Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post lyrics from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarassing
Step 4: Bold out the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!


1. O-o-o-oh, feel the feeling oh, processed feeling,
Feel it in the belly, like a yellow worm with teeth.

2. To fight for the right,
Without question or pause,
To be willing to march into Hell for a Heavenly cause.

3. Listen to them
Show when they learn how to lie
You can sing along with them if you try

4. Some day, when I'm awfully low
when the world is cold
I will feel a glow
just thinking of you

5. YO...!
I come with that ol' loco style from my vocal
Couldn't peep it with a pair of bi-focals
I'm no joker! Playyy me as a joker
Be on you like a house on fire!! Smoke ya!
Crews be actin like they gangs, anyway
Be like, "Warriors! Come out and playiyay!"
Burn me, I get into shit, I let it out like diarrhea
Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea
Dirty, I keep shit stinks in my drawers so I can get fzza-funky for yah
MURDER, taste the flaaame of the Wu-Tang RAHH!
Here comes the Tiger verse Crane!
AOWW, be like wild with my style
Punk! You playing me, chump, you get DUMPED
WU! Is comin THROUGH! At a theatre near YOU!
And get funk like a SHOE!
What!!



6. Another tanker's hit the rocks
Abandoned to spill out its guts
The sand is laced with sticky glops 
O' Shimmering moonlight sheen upon
The waves and water clogged with oil
White gases steam up from the soil 

7. hardened surface, cracked within
catch the sweat, from off the chin
of men and women, senior and child
who look to you and your sterile miles
and in their stares is bald dismay
for what you promised when you led them astray
[nostalllgiaa (: ]

8. girl i've got a daate, oo-ooo
and i just mean, i can't stay late oo-oooh
woahoahwoah
all my life all my life ive been wanting you girl, more than once or twice,
take this from me im as free as a bird in the tree


9. (strong mexican accent:) *satisfied groan* aaaaaah! that was a touchy. did you hear the ending? BA! BA! BA-BA! BA! unless it has that ending, it is not a touchy. and i'll tell you why- that ending? "BA, BA, BA-BA, BA!"?means... "ONE, TWO, TOUCH NO! MORE!" and thats how you break! and thats how you stop! otherwise, youll keep touching, and touching.. and touching.. and touching... (etc.) <3


10. we're all parts of an alphabet
spelt new words with new folks we've met
and the big round blue boat drifts around in the dark
and the big round blue boat drifts around in the dark
and they say that we'll drift for a while til we die in the sun its a spiral its a combination lock
im just hoping that ill get it open and that these joys and frustrations are just turns in the combination

11. A song will lift, as the mainsail shifts
And the boat drifts on to the shoreline.
And the sun will respect every face on the deck,
The hour that the ship comes in.

12. No-one to see,
I'm free as the breeze
No-one but me 
and my memories

13. 
Dark and dusty,
Painted on the sky,
Misty taste of moonshine,
Tears gone from my eyes

(It's Toots' version!!)

14. Well it aint no use in callin out my name, gal
like you never done before
and it aint no use in callin out my name, gal
i can't hear you anymore

15. sittin here restin' my bones
and this loneliness won't leave me alone

16. when the shadows of this life have gone
like a bird from these prison walls i'll fly

17. hey Woody Guthrie I wrote you a song.
About a funny ol world thats comin along
it's sick and it's hungry it's tired and it's torn
it looks like it's dying and it's hardly been born.


18. we come with the dust and are gone with the wind.

19. Check all your razors and your guns
Do the shim-sham shimmy
till the risin' sun

20. Now as i look around its mighty plain to see 
This world is such a great and a funny place to be
oh the gamblin man is rich and the workin man is poor
and i ain't got no home in this world anymore

21. Punk's not dead
It just deserves to die
When it becomes another stale cartoon
A close-minded, self-centered social club
Ideas don't matter, it's who you know
If the music's gotten boring
It's because of the people
Who want everyone to sound the same
Who drive bright people out
Of our so-called scene
'Til all that's left Is just a meaningless fad


22. and everything i am will be bought and sold
and everything i am will turn hard and cold 

23. People say believe half of what you see,
Son, and none of what you hear.

24. don't pay heed to temptation
for his hands are so cold


25. Tell me what can you want now you've got it all
The whole scene is obscene
Time will strip it away
A year and a day
And Bill Bones
Bill Bones knows what I mean
He knows it's eating, it's chewing me up
It's not right for young lungs to be coughing up blood
And it's all
It's all in my hands
And its all up the walls


My favourite lyrics on here are damn depressing! I didn't realise until now. 
...i must be deeply troubled.

 I've never looked this guy up before and had only seen him on one tiny SNL sketch on a dvd cause I live in a far away land called England and we're stuck with Lenny Henry and can't possibly get decent stand-up shown on tv ever

If you're from US or Can-A-dia you'll knowm

Norm MacDonald

I'll post a video later


GOD i'm so ILL
MY SNOT IS LIKE WATER

bye
x

 Its 3am now, I need to reset the oooooooollllll' body clock

here's the first front cover:


peace n mush loove,
METHOGONZO
X-X-X

 I'm making some things im posting around town advertising my yet-to-be-completed zine:





It's called "Mush Looove", if you hadn't already noticed.
It consists of my love-giving to things that deserve it. The love-giving is non-physical, because I don't swing in the direction of Tapirs. 
...I swing in the direction of Method Man, though, if he's reading and is on holiday in Yorkshire...
which I'm sure he will be because it's a wonderful place..

Honest

k
well there you are, I'll put more up later.
If anyone finds this blog and wants a copy of the zine, contact me via a comment or something.

Mush looove,
Methogonzo
x-x-x